What I Want on Valentine's Day
Clues to our best life
To hear the related 5-minute audio file that I uploaded today as my Morning Journal flash briefing for Alexa devices, please click on the play button:
How to silence the critic
Sue Erhart’s book, Lose Your Critic for Good, this morning led me to make a list of things I want.
Chapter 22, titled “Saying I Want,” begins with this:
Your wants are a clue to your best life, so let’s do the work of coaxing them forward.
Like every other chapter in the book, this one is a creative way to get free from the critic. That might sound like a person, maybe an imaginary one. In Erhart’s understanding, the critic is no more than a collection of outmoded ideas that get in the way of a successful life.
Those ideas might include want suppression. As in: that’s too expensive or that want is improper.
The first time I read Erhart’s book, in preparation for my podcast interview with her, I got very excited about Chapter 22. I brainstormed a list of wants, the crazier the better. At the top of the list was something I didn’t see coming: a white Cybertruck like one I saw in Naples a couple of months ago.
I got so enthusiastic that I came close to making a deposit to ordering one. I told myself (and Darlene) that I would drive it for a few months and then sell it before our return to Maine.
Luckily, I read further in the chapter. Here’s the headline: You can have a want and make no movement toward satisfying it.
Instead of ordering a real Cybertruck, I found a toy one on eBay for $28. It’s scheduled for delivery today. I can’t wait to put it here on my desk for admiration and delight.
I read Chapter 22 to Darlene and Deb this morning over coffee. We each shared a few of our wants. Erhart says it’s good to practice getting to know them.
As I went through today, I silently told myself what I wanted in each situation. I wanted to be patient at the UPS store waiting for my turn to send documents to my sister in Massachusetts. I wanted to get the next serve in during my pickleball ladder competition. I wanted to write a poem for Darlene (see graphic above).
Here are three more benefits of becoming aware of our wants:
“Wants are directional signs showing you where you want to go.”
“Wants have this curious ability to bring us back to life…When a person is in touch with wants, we use words like ‘full of life’ or ‘lit from within.’”
We know ourselves better. “You see that your wants are what make you unique, and that uniqueness is to be celebrated.”
I want more people to read Sue Erhart’s book. The Kindle version costs only 99 cents.
Your critic may be saying, What a waste! You don’t have time for one more self-help book!
Don’t listen.
Figure out what you want today. Imagine it without taking steps to get it, at least for now.
Just embrace it—and feel your heart get bigger on Valentine’s Day.